Monday, April 26, 2010

Even fabulous burners need *facilities*...

The Playa rivals Australia's Outback in the heat and desolation department. You'd think we'd be very concerned with how we're going to store water and food, keep cool, protect ourselves from the blistering sun and recover from that special spa service offered at Burning Man known as the "Exfoliating Sand Storm Treatment".

Up until now, most of the conversations we have indulged in have been about *fashion* on the Playa. Do we go all lit up or do we steampunk out? Do we do both or neither? Work boots or roman sandals? Coveralls or tutus? Tribal warpaint or Elvira vamp eyeliner? Feathers or tulle? Glittery skin or bejewelled cheekbones? LED fiber optic mohawk or cool neon headdress? We can't wear this stuff to work, kids. It's understandable that we might want to spend a bit of time contemplating how we might replace our mundane outer facades with the pleasant regalia of our inner wild thangs. And our inner wild thangs are forces to be reckoned with. Jean Paul Gauttier would be shivering in a corner, sucking his thumb and begging for his mommy were he exposed to some of our ideas. But that's another blog entry.

Fashion aside, the practicalities of daily life in the long black night of the Playa still have to be planned for, as well. There will be an ice vendor and porta-privies and that does help, but lets get real here. This place is *huge* and there are no electric lights. It's pitch black at night. Let's just suppose, hypothetically speaking, one of our Ya-Ya's had to use the *facilities* in the middle of that dark, directionless night. Let's imagine that our pee-pee-dance-doin' Ya-Ya is actually lucid enough to find the privies. Will she be lucid enough to find her way *back*??? And what if our burner hops around aimlessly, knees together, never finding the privies *or* the way back to camp?? Makes me shiver just to think about it. And what of all that dust? It would sure be nice to get at least a *little* clean during our stay in Black Rock City.

Geekery to the rescue. Bing Queen...Google Goddess...Ebay Empress. That's me. Meet our new shower/privy tent. Wooden grate floor to keep feet clean. 5-gallon solar shower (fueled, I think, by melted cooler ice...remember that all-important ice vendor) and a 2.5 gallon camping privy. There were some more modern versions with "no see-um" mesh, built-in floors and cubbies for your shampoo and such, but I like the personality of this one. Honestly, I didn't even see the others until after this one *arrived*. LOL...yeah I'm a real internet shopping *guru*. *snort* All of this privacy *and* stripes for $34.99 plus shipping. I'm thinking a way-cool sign for the top, "Ya-Ya Superhero Changing Booth" or some such nonsense.

Next stop...transportation...anyone know where I can find training wheels for a mountain bike??

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